Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
