So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I think a kid would responsible me up
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
