I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
