watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
