i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
