I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
