Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
