He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
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