I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
