Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
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