Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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