It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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