it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
We don't watch enough power rangers
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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