i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
