Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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