Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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