You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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