Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
