My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Randomize
