My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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