he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
