But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
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I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
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Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize