3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
