Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
