I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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