this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
