Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
you inspire me to be a worse person
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
My vagina is officially offended.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
