alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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