What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
