Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
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