my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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