Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
