you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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