the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
