you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
He did a backflip because drugs
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
