pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
