apparently the secret to your success is patron
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Boobs are out for the taking
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
