I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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