She is in my trunk
one two three fourrrrnication!
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
