I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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