I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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