yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
