How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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