oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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