I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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