i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
