so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
now i know why i became what i already was.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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