Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
