dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
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currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
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Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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