guys are not supposed to queef...right?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize