I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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