yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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