i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
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when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
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And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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