Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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