STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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