Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
