You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
