I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
