I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
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so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
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Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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