Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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